Isolation

Does a leader recognize he or she is insulated (or dare I say isolated) or surrounded by gatekeepers?  I have been in situations where all those surrounding the leader are gatekeepers who do not provide the leader with an accurate view of reality.  When, as a leader, do you begin to believe that you do not need to keep access to those who will “speak the truth in love?”  Or when do you think “oh, these five/six people are giving me ALL the information I need?!”

At what point does your ego take such precedent that you honestly believe that those reporting to you always give you the untainted truth?  Is it when your power gets so great that people have too much to lose if you are disappointed, angered, or upset?

I remember as a new parent making a pledge to myself to not be concerned about the little things because if you freak out about the little things, you’ll never learn the big things.  Is that an applicable line of thinking for a leader as well?

I would rather have individuals who will tell me the truth so I’m not blindsided by something that has been bubbling rather than a bunch of “yes” men who have created lives based on a make-believe world!

Arriving At A Leader's Assessment

 “I can’t figure out if he is brilliant or stupid!”  Often a leader makes decisions based upon context of which only he or she is privy.  Because I cannot know all the information a top leader knows, I strive to give the benefit of the doubt to that leader.  As a person of faith, I do my best to support decisions the leader makes and align my behaviors with those decisions.

However, after a length of time, the leader’s behaviors are evaluated against a set of values and the leader is deemed a good leader or a bad leader or the jury is still out.  After a number of years though conclusions can be drawn, even if the leader’s actions are inconsistent.

I recently said to a friend “I cannot determine if this leader is brilliant or stupid.”  In pondering this dichotomy, I realized that brilliant is not an option.  At best, the leader is mediocre while at worst; he is a poison to the system.  So really the choices are stupid or poison!

I arrive at this conclusion because:  a real leader, regardless of his/her personal preferences, will align choices for the greater good.  A true leader cannot and will not allow something bad to be inflicted on the organization or cause, just to serve a short-term purpose. 

Ultimately a brilliant leader does everything for the greater good and would not allow something negative to impact the entity just to have a short-term gain/glory or photo op!

So unfortunately, I’ve had to revise my statement from “I can’t figure out” to “I’ve arrived at a conclusion and that conclusion is that this person is a poison to the organization.”  Isn’t it pitiful to be at the point that you believe the labeled leader does not have good intentions for the organization/cause but rather is self-serving?  Then too, how pitiful is it to have that individual surround him/herself with gatekeepers who only repeat the self-serving traits.  Those intimate circle persons do not “speak the truth in love” but rather perpetuate the misaligned behaviors.  Then the next layer may repeat-until someone has the corporate courage to say “WAIT!”

Stories.....Data With A Soul

Brene' Brown said that stories are data with a soul.

I have spent the last seven months listening to stories.  I interviewed 18 students about their spiritual identity.  I did ALOT of listening.  The process was stunning. Absolutely stunning.  I heard about abuses, struggles, triumphs, hopes, dreams, depressions, and most of all, living life.  Students took my hand and said "come with me" as they shared their journey.

I am humbled and honored.  These students allowed me to come along side them as they took this journey we call life.

The next step I took was to code and begin analysis of the data.  I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED this part.  I enjoyed coding the student's words and was so excited to see what they revealed.

Ironically I was soooo worried about the writing of the analytical memos.  I wondered if I would have anything to say.  That was a needless worry because the data revealed PLENTY of things to discuss.

I spoke with Alex on Friday, May 14, 2013.  It was a GREAT conversation.  The analysis I completed was great and Alex is ready for me to move to Chapter 4!  I need to have a draft of Chapter 4 to Alex by the end of June.

Honestly, I'm totally proud of myself.  I worked hard on the coding and analysis so it was wonderful to have Alex validate my work.

One of the key things Alex said "trust your instincts, trust your gut."  I have heard that over and over over my life-and I tend to hesitate.  Not now, I'm going to plow right through!!!  I'm good at this, I love this, I'm a QUALITATIVE RESEARCHER!  YAY!

Happy Followers of Jesus

I read an article recently, which detailed the Top 10 characteristics of happy Christians.  I enjoyed the article a great deal and it caused me to think.  Of course I enjoy thinking about abstract concepts so I spent some time boiling down the 10 points into my own version.  I then used the student development theory from Chickering to visualize how the points work together.  I envisioned a vector system, just like Chickering’s model with three main areas.

Of course the core or center from which all things come is God.  From there I believe the things essential to make a happy follower of Jesus are:  a) Silence, b) Prayer, and c) Happiness/Gratitude.

First, a follower of Jesus should choose happiness.  I’ve said before that happiness is a choice.  We can choose to wallow in our pity and negativity or we can choose to see hope and renewed energy in Jesus.  In order to choose happiness, we should choose gratitude, focus on thankfulness, take every thought captive, and minimize negativity (both input and output). 

A second vector is that we must be still.  We cannot keep ourselves in constant chaos and find God’s peace.  God’s voice is still small and faint.  Rarely does he boom at us but prefers to speak to us in the quiet and stillness.  If we keep ourselves so busy that we fail to sit silently, I ask, what are you keeping yourself from?  What are you trying to insulate yourself from?

The third vector I believe in, is prayer.  I believe in small and imperfect prayers.  I recently did an interview with a college student from Mexico City.  During the interview, the student indicated that he’d recently been instructed that he was praying “incorrectly.”  The student went on to express his sadness for all the people he’d prayed for through the years but now he realized his prayers went unheard.  I firmly disapprove of this perspective.  I do not believe our loving God turns away from imperfect prayers.  I believe God cherishes our bumbling and our imperfections.  I believe God is so thrilled that we are spending time with him that he hears our heart and not our bumbling.

So, ultimately I believe our goal is a relationship with the real Lord of the Universe. Seek to share intimate time with God where He can share his heart with us and we can live His desires out!  Be blessed!

New Favorite Quote

 “One writes not to be read but to breathe...one writes to think, to pray, to analyze. 

One writes to clear one's mind, to dissipate one's fears, to face one's doubts, to look at one's mistakes--in order to retrieve them. 

One writes to capture and crystallize one's joy, but also to disperse one's gloom. 

Like prayer--you go to it in sorrow more than joy, for help, a road back to 'grace'."

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Prayer Formulas

I was listening to a series on CD this weekend.  The preacher instructed that the correct way to pray is to make sure we praise God before we ask for anything.  The preacher noted that if we fail to praise God first, then we are just whiny, selfish children always wanting something.

I gave that some thought.  I made a mental note to always praise God prior to asking for something.  I didn’t want to pray inaccurately.  After all, I’m a rule follower when it comes to instruction-I get an A++ in being a square peg in the square hole that is the educational system in America.

So, today I was praying and realized I just started talking to God about an issue without praising.  So I was like “Oh, I am so sorry, let me start over.”  So I did and honestly, it felt so fake I couldn’t do it.  I am not one to disagree with instructions but on this particular issue I was completely surprised at my distaste for the instructions!  I realized that I would not call my friend and begin with “oh you are such a great and wonderful friend, you are always there when I need you, you are so pretty, you are smart, and a hard worker.  Now, here is my problem.”

No, I wouldn’t do it like that.  If someone is a good enough friend for me to share a problem with, I would feel more authentic in getting right to the point “I’d like to talk to you and get your input about an issue I’m facing.”  Now that feels more authentic to me of how I’d dialogue with a real friend.

Now there are times when I spend time in prayer just talking to God about how amazing He is.  I thank Him for his faithfulness to me, His unconditional love for me, and the blessings He provides to me. I often will end a journal entry related to praising God with “Bliss” to indicate how full of admiration and love I am. 

Thus, I want to encourage anyone to throw out the formulas and just have a conversation as you would with your best friend.  Get rid of the rigid “to do” list that the self-help gurus suggest we follow, and just get real.  God doesn’t need to have us follow a formula.  God wants us to turn to him in an authentic and real way. God wants us to seek him as we would our closest friend and He wants us to share from our hearts and souls, NOT just our mind.  Sometimes it isn’t in my heart to follow a formula, rather at those times the most intense, passionate, and personal thing is to let God know what I’m worried about, fearing, or distracted by. 

I’d like to think that God appreciates my fumbling authenticity.  I’d like to think that God is big enough to know that I’m not perfect but I try to fail forward in His direction every time I stumble.  I am confident that my God loves me unconditionally and although He loves and cherishes when I praise him, he doesn’t want me to feel stiff and rehearsed during our conversations.  He prefers for me to be that “let your hair down” totally transparent girl that he’s growing to know more and more every day.

Be blessed this week!

Trust and Trains

Every day I cross a railroad track.  On most days I cross the track five times between going to work, come for lunch, and home from work.  I realized that I am so used to there being no train, that I do not even cast a glance to my right or left, I simply move forward.  I trust that I’m going to be ok.

I found this quite confounding because I am not naturally a trusting person.  I have discussed (with myself), in my journal, that I struggle with trusting God with every detail of my life. I often want to help him out by inserting my plans, resistance, and sometimes defiance into the picture.  I wrestle with a “can God handle this” attitude.

Yet I trust that a 50 ton train is not barreling down on me.  I recognized the contrast this week.  I trust that a train isn’t going to ram into me and likely kill me but I struggle with giving my Almighty my full trust.  I worry “can God handle all the details?”  When I say struggle it mainly manifest in worry.  Even thought Jesus is clear that we have no need to worry, it is an easy trap to fall in to. 

I worry about money. I worry about completing my dissertation. I worry about Joshlyn. I worry about Ray. I worry about traffic. I worry the dogs may get out.  Yet Jesus says that the birds do not even worry about their next meal because God provides exactly what they need, when they need it.

At first, after recognizing my illogical issue with trust, I would come to the train tracks and chastise myself for not having enough fair-not being good enough of a believer.  Now, my goal is to come to the tracks and take a split second to focus and remember to hand it all to God.  Let go of worry-make a conscious effort to relinquish my worry, my doubts, and my concerns.  Giving my thoughts to seeking God.  I find it much more delightful to seek a relationship with my Creator than worry about money!  The peace of mind, the feeling of love and acceptance is certainly worth it!