Happy Followers of Jesus

I read an article recently, which detailed the Top 10 characteristics of happy Christians.  I enjoyed the article a great deal and it caused me to think.  Of course I enjoy thinking about abstract concepts so I spent some time boiling down the 10 points into my own version.  I then used the student development theory from Chickering to visualize how the points work together.  I envisioned a vector system, just like Chickering’s model with three main areas.

Of course the core or center from which all things come is God.  From there I believe the things essential to make a happy follower of Jesus are:  a) Silence, b) Prayer, and c) Happiness/Gratitude.

First, a follower of Jesus should choose happiness.  I’ve said before that happiness is a choice.  We can choose to wallow in our pity and negativity or we can choose to see hope and renewed energy in Jesus.  In order to choose happiness, we should choose gratitude, focus on thankfulness, take every thought captive, and minimize negativity (both input and output). 

A second vector is that we must be still.  We cannot keep ourselves in constant chaos and find God’s peace.  God’s voice is still small and faint.  Rarely does he boom at us but prefers to speak to us in the quiet and stillness.  If we keep ourselves so busy that we fail to sit silently, I ask, what are you keeping yourself from?  What are you trying to insulate yourself from?

The third vector I believe in, is prayer.  I believe in small and imperfect prayers.  I recently did an interview with a college student from Mexico City.  During the interview, the student indicated that he’d recently been instructed that he was praying “incorrectly.”  The student went on to express his sadness for all the people he’d prayed for through the years but now he realized his prayers went unheard.  I firmly disapprove of this perspective.  I do not believe our loving God turns away from imperfect prayers.  I believe God cherishes our bumbling and our imperfections.  I believe God is so thrilled that we are spending time with him that he hears our heart and not our bumbling.

So, ultimately I believe our goal is a relationship with the real Lord of the Universe. Seek to share intimate time with God where He can share his heart with us and we can live His desires out!  Be blessed!

New Favorite Quote

 “One writes not to be read but to breathe...one writes to think, to pray, to analyze. 

One writes to clear one's mind, to dissipate one's fears, to face one's doubts, to look at one's mistakes--in order to retrieve them. 

One writes to capture and crystallize one's joy, but also to disperse one's gloom. 

Like prayer--you go to it in sorrow more than joy, for help, a road back to 'grace'."

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Prayer Formulas

I was listening to a series on CD this weekend.  The preacher instructed that the correct way to pray is to make sure we praise God before we ask for anything.  The preacher noted that if we fail to praise God first, then we are just whiny, selfish children always wanting something.

I gave that some thought.  I made a mental note to always praise God prior to asking for something.  I didn’t want to pray inaccurately.  After all, I’m a rule follower when it comes to instruction-I get an A++ in being a square peg in the square hole that is the educational system in America.

So, today I was praying and realized I just started talking to God about an issue without praising.  So I was like “Oh, I am so sorry, let me start over.”  So I did and honestly, it felt so fake I couldn’t do it.  I am not one to disagree with instructions but on this particular issue I was completely surprised at my distaste for the instructions!  I realized that I would not call my friend and begin with “oh you are such a great and wonderful friend, you are always there when I need you, you are so pretty, you are smart, and a hard worker.  Now, here is my problem.”

No, I wouldn’t do it like that.  If someone is a good enough friend for me to share a problem with, I would feel more authentic in getting right to the point “I’d like to talk to you and get your input about an issue I’m facing.”  Now that feels more authentic to me of how I’d dialogue with a real friend.

Now there are times when I spend time in prayer just talking to God about how amazing He is.  I thank Him for his faithfulness to me, His unconditional love for me, and the blessings He provides to me. I often will end a journal entry related to praising God with “Bliss” to indicate how full of admiration and love I am. 

Thus, I want to encourage anyone to throw out the formulas and just have a conversation as you would with your best friend.  Get rid of the rigid “to do” list that the self-help gurus suggest we follow, and just get real.  God doesn’t need to have us follow a formula.  God wants us to turn to him in an authentic and real way. God wants us to seek him as we would our closest friend and He wants us to share from our hearts and souls, NOT just our mind.  Sometimes it isn’t in my heart to follow a formula, rather at those times the most intense, passionate, and personal thing is to let God know what I’m worried about, fearing, or distracted by. 

I’d like to think that God appreciates my fumbling authenticity.  I’d like to think that God is big enough to know that I’m not perfect but I try to fail forward in His direction every time I stumble.  I am confident that my God loves me unconditionally and although He loves and cherishes when I praise him, he doesn’t want me to feel stiff and rehearsed during our conversations.  He prefers for me to be that “let your hair down” totally transparent girl that he’s growing to know more and more every day.

Be blessed this week!

Trust and Trains

Every day I cross a railroad track.  On most days I cross the track five times between going to work, come for lunch, and home from work.  I realized that I am so used to there being no train, that I do not even cast a glance to my right or left, I simply move forward.  I trust that I’m going to be ok.

I found this quite confounding because I am not naturally a trusting person.  I have discussed (with myself), in my journal, that I struggle with trusting God with every detail of my life. I often want to help him out by inserting my plans, resistance, and sometimes defiance into the picture.  I wrestle with a “can God handle this” attitude.

Yet I trust that a 50 ton train is not barreling down on me.  I recognized the contrast this week.  I trust that a train isn’t going to ram into me and likely kill me but I struggle with giving my Almighty my full trust.  I worry “can God handle all the details?”  When I say struggle it mainly manifest in worry.  Even thought Jesus is clear that we have no need to worry, it is an easy trap to fall in to. 

I worry about money. I worry about completing my dissertation. I worry about Joshlyn. I worry about Ray. I worry about traffic. I worry the dogs may get out.  Yet Jesus says that the birds do not even worry about their next meal because God provides exactly what they need, when they need it.

At first, after recognizing my illogical issue with trust, I would come to the train tracks and chastise myself for not having enough fair-not being good enough of a believer.  Now, my goal is to come to the tracks and take a split second to focus and remember to hand it all to God.  Let go of worry-make a conscious effort to relinquish my worry, my doubts, and my concerns.  Giving my thoughts to seeking God.  I find it much more delightful to seek a relationship with my Creator than worry about money!  The peace of mind, the feeling of love and acceptance is certainly worth it!  

Vulnerability

This week I didn’t feel very philosophical.  I was pretty busy preparing for a number of presentations that began on Tuesday and ran through Thursday evening .  I was really distracted.  I think I actually got all of my journaling for the week into two pages because I just couldn’t get my mind to slow down long enough to think very deeply.

I think it was probably Friday night when I realized it was almost time to write my Lenten reflection and I realized I’d not made notes throughout the week and ultimately I had no outline-nothing noted to discuss.  I was frustrated with myself because how could I adhere to my Lenten commitment of writing something every weekend during Lent yet I was unprepared.  Surely the Lord didn’t expect me to shoot from the hip!  Surely He expected a neat outline and a three point summary? 

Surely….but oh how wrong I was!  This week in the d365.org reflection, the writer discussed vulnerability.  I do not like vulnerability.  I do not like being raw and shooting from the hip.  I like structure and stability.  Yet, when push comes to show-it is my vulnerability that makes me unique yet most connected to others.  As humans, I’ll bet there are very few who enjoy vulnerability.  Who likes to feel the foundation shake?  Not this girl.  However, when we are vulnerable (and authentic) it is an opportunity for Jesus to be faithful to us.  When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable (for example for me to just let my heart fall open and let the writing pour out) it allows the Lord’s strength to prevail.

Putting myself out here like I’ve committed to do certainly makes me feel vulnerable.  What if someone reads this and thinks “what a nut!”  Or what if someone reads it and thinks “what a hypocrite?”  It makes me feel completely vulnerable. Yet there are probably others who think exposing their thoughts makes them vulnerable.  There are probably individuals who think expressing themselves in any form (writing, music, attire) makes them vulnerable. So it is through our shared vulnerability we are connected.

And it is through this crack in our exterior that the ray of sun that is the Lord might shine through.  I know that when I hear someone preaching the Word that I most resonate with the truly human situations:  the doubts, the negative self-talk, the fears.  That’s when I connect most with the speaker-when I can say “YES!  Me too!”

So, although sharing that I feel vulnerable makes me feel vulnerable, I hope it also helps others feel connected and realize that every one of us struggles with something-that something allows the Lord to form the foundation that upholds us.  We can’t rescue ourselves-we must allow him to hold us up-be there for us, and light our path.  

Examine Your Why

In Matthew, the Lord gives what could be viewed as mixed messages.  In one passage, Jesus says, “Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them” (Matthew 6:1) but  Jesus also says, “let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works” (Matthew 5:15-16).

Why on earth would Jesus speak out of both sides of his mouth!  I suggest that Jesus is ultimately saying the same thing:  check your motives!

In the first quote, Jesus warns that if you seek the pity or approval of humans, then you have your reward.  You want people to talk about you?  Then when you do something to stir up their gossip, you have your reward.  However, if you want to be noted by God, then don’t do grandstanding for human attention. Do what is appropriate without the expectation of recognition by others.  Seek your recognition from God.

In the second quote, Jesus notes that you should celebrate your giftedness to God’s glory.  I remember being at a meeting one time at Baylor. During the meeting, someone asked Dr. Eileen Hulme about her leadership. Dr. Hulme responded that she believed God had gifted her with leadership skills and it was her humble responsibility to use those skills to the best of her ability.

WOW, this was an incredible perspective for me.  Having been raised a good Southern girl, I was basically taught to downplay everything good about myself so to think that here was a woman I greatly admired saying it was not only ok, but it was our responsibility to honor God by using our giftedness-well, that blew me away! 

So the question becomes what is your motive-are you acting out in a way that provokes God’s affirmation or the praise of peers.  Jesus says it’s best to seek God’s affirmation so that’s the route I’ll take!

Beyond Emotional Intelligence, We Need Spiritual Intelligence

Today’s post is by Dr. Andrew Thorn, author of U-wun-ge-lay-ma: A Guide to Next-level Living (CLICK HERE to get your copy).  Here’s Dr. Thorn…

Charles P. Steinmetz, (1865 – 1923) a German-American mathematician and electrical engineer, whose work as a scientist significantly influenced the expansion of the electrical power industry in the United States, was once asked, by the founder of Babson College in Massachusetts, what line of research he thought would see the greatest development during the course of the next 100 years.

Here is what Mr. Steinmetz is reported to have said:
“I think the greatest discovery will be made along spiritual lines. Here is a force which history clearly teaches has been the greatest power in the development of men. Yet we have merely been playing with it and have never seriously studied it as we have the physical forces. Someday, people will learn that material things do not bring happiness and are of little use in the making men and women creative and powerful. Then the scientists of the world will turn their laboratories over to the study of God and prayer and the spiritual forces, which as of yet have hardly been scratched. When this day comes, the world will see more advancement in one generation than it has seen in the past four.”
Unfortunately, as a society, instead of moving toward spiritual topics, we have moved away from them. Sadly, the major pursuits of the last 30 years have been largely focused on the acquisition of material wealth. We are now feeling the pain of those pursuits. As predicted we are discovering that the material conquests of life do not bring us much happiness.
Yet for some reason, the topic of spirituality is often considered taboo. It is now a divisive topic and extreme measures are often taken to avoid it.

Spiritual Intelligence
I want to break that taboo and speak openly about spirituality. Because it can be a very intangible topic, it is difficult to define what it really is. That is why we need to study it more. Spirituality is an enlightened focus on who we really are. It helps us understand the purpose of our existence and to see things as they really are. When we develop spiritual intelligence we enjoy an increased ability to pick out the actions, experiences, beliefs, and values that create greater meaning and purpose in our individual lives. This power of discernment expands our ability to understand our eternal natures. As we come to know who we really are, the great questions of life come into focus and we find ourselves aligned with divine purpose and legacy.

There Is Something More Than Achievement
The shiny prizes of the world, including its pleasures, power, praise, money, and fame, have always been and always will be attractive, but they are not enough. Those that reach the top of Mount Achievement, often find a dull world devoid of meaning. The sacrifice to gain what the material world has to offer, proves time and time again to be too steep a price to pay. Most of us now realize that the pursuit of doing at the expense of being does not deliver happiness.
The question of what is this human life experience really all about is answered best, by and through the development of spiritual intelligence. The pursuit of Spiritual Intelligence focuses us on personal meaning making experiences. It ensures that individuals know what they want, and more importantly, that they know who they are. This enables the spiritually intelligent individual to clearly express what his or her impact will be in the world.
A person who possesses high levels of spiritual intelligence easily identifies with his or her Higher Self or Spirit rather than with the ego. They have less need to seek after their own interests. This fosters the capacity to serve and develop others.
Nearly every organization I work with is concerned about developing higher levels of accountability. A spiritually intelligent person is empowered with a greater capacity for problem solving. It is natural for them to cope better with stressful situations because they know that what they are doing is only what they do and not who they are. As a result they are freer to act and to be, which results in greater productivity and engagement.

Thinking, Feeling, Being
We cannot solely rely on the development of cognitive and emotional intelligence to make us whole. By themselves, they are not enough. As long as the development of spiritual intelligence is considered unimportant or old-fashioned, we will continue to feel like we are missing something. We cannot be complete without developing greater levels of individual and collective spiritual intelligence.
It is worth noting that the words “health,” “wholeness,” “holiness” and “healing” all come from the same root. All of these come about because of who we are and not because of what we do.

The French philosopher Teilhard de Chardin once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” This quote inspires me. It gives me great hope and purpose. It generates meaning in a world where meaning is sometimes difficult to make.

To be spiritually intelligent is to be fully engaged in becoming the best you – because it facilitates your ability to know exactly who the best you is.
What does the idea of Spiritual Intelligence mean to you? Why do you think that as a society we are so afraid to discuss it? What do you think must happen before we can become comfortable with this topic? How much time do you spend making quality spiritual discoveries? I hope you will spend some time pondering these questions. I look forward to your thoughts.

- Dr. Andrew Thorn is the founder of Telios Corporation and creator of The Telios Experience™.  He holds a PhD in Consulting Psychology, a Masters in Personal and Executive Coaching, and a Masters in Business Administration from Pepperdine University.  Dr. Thorn is also the author of U-wun-ge-lay-ma: A Guide to Next-level Living and the upcoming book Who Do You Want To Be When You Grow Whole? The Future of Meaning and Purpose.