Living Your Values

 I’ve read many definitions of integrity and I guess for me it comes down to making your behavioral choices align with your long-term values.

Before I came to my current environment I had idealistic (unrealistic?) thoughts about how people conducted their lives.  I believed in authenticity and I believed in living the values you espouse.

 

I still believe in those things.  I just don’t believe in people as much.  I now realize living an authentic life with integrity is much rarer.

 

I have been surprised at how many weddings certain people are not invited to because that person may be “blacklisted” by someone else. For some reason I truly thought that events like weddings, showers, and other celebrations were times when lines dissolved and the pureness of celebration, of joy, and of sharing triumphed.

 

I’ve learned I have been wrong….my perceptions are idealistic and one can be shunned for no valid reason other than because someone else on the guest list (with more power) doesn’t favor the person. 

I recall a specific incident when a very high profile wedding was occurring and one individual was not invited which surprised a lot of people.   The uninvited person had provided job opportunities and promotions to the person getting married but was not in favor by the leader. 

 

Fast forward a couple of years and the System forwhich we all work conducts and eight-week investigation and the power player is no longer working at the institution.  After about six months the environment has begun to neutralize.

 

I wonder does it bother the person that they took the “in” political route instead of holding to authentic values?

 

I wonder was it worth it?  Was it worth playing to the current political structure instead of integrity?

 

After working in higher education for 24 years, one thing I know for sure, power will shift.

 

Because power will shift, I find it is easier to sleep at night when you have demonstrated your own integrity.

Don’t sway to the passing political powers-stay true to your own values.  They will serve you in the long run.

6 Reasons asking yourself “What is my Lesson in this Situation?” is beneficial

6 Reasons asking yourself “What is my Lesson in this Situation?” is beneficial

By: Dr. Elizabeth Wallace

I am a big believer in asking “what is my lesson in this situation?”

I do this to mine wisdom and growth from situations I might otherwise be inclined to complain about.  Below are six reasons why asking yourself this question is a good habit to form:

Asking this simple question:

1.       Keeps you focused on you.  This helps prevent blaming!

2.       Helps you remain positive.  It is hard to focus on being angry or bitter when you are seeking growth and enlightenment.

3.       Moves you through mental stages.  As an individual considers actions as lessons, it is difficult to ignore the desire to implement the learning in one’s life.

4.       Reminds you that you are part of something bigger than yourself; you are connected to others.

5.       Allows you to connect events that might not have been connected otherwise.  Asking questions of yourself may help identify trends in your behavior that can be addressed for improvement.

6.       Establishes the practice of reflection.

It is often easy to get swept up in so much of the busy-ness or distractions offered by today’s lifestyles and establishes an art practice of centering oneself.  Taking a few minutes to journal or just think about these six things will help individuals strive to be the best self, possible.

Bio:

Dr. Elizabeth Wallace has a doctorate of education and has spent 24 years working with college students.  Her passion is spirituality and the development of spiritual identity.  Dr. Wallace and her husband live in Texas where they are well-trained by their seven year old Boarder Collie, Pete and their two year old Australian Shepard, RePete.

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.l.wallace.5

Twitter:  libby0218

Moving to a Standardized College Education -Times Are Changing

Moving to a Standardized College Education

-Times Are Changing

This week Sweet Briar College announced that it would close in August 2015.  Sweet Briar’s decision came with methodical analysis and took my breath away.

I did not attend Sweet Briar or have any association with the institution; however, to me, Sweet Briar’s closing is a warning to American higher education to consider some significant questions such as

o   What is our purpose?

o   Why are we here?

o   Who are we serving?

As an Assessment Specialist, I often prompt others to think about the question of purpose so the Sweet Briar announcement elicited a level of emotion for which I was not prepared. 

Why did this small, private, women’s liberal arts college stir emotion with me who was far away at a state, regional institution?

The answer, while complicated, is seated in my work for many years in college student identity.

While Sweet Briar played by all the rules, the internal hippie in me balks at the standardization I perceive to be at the root cause of the school’s closure. 

The media, law (policy) makers, and the general public (of which 20% have a Bachelor’s degree according to the 2014 census.gov website) desire an ability to compare certain information across a wide array of institutions.

A problem with standard metrics, such as the one’s institutions now must submit to accrediting agencies and for-profit websites in order to “play the game,” is that they strip the institution of identity (for the sake of easy comparison.)

You can compare my standard statistics to those of Christie Brinkley:

o   We are both blonde

o   We are both mothers

o   We are both 5’9”

However, others would argue that our similarities end there!  Christie is a long-time vegetarian who models and has been married four times. 

I am less the supermodel and more the super nerd, eat meat, and married the love of my life at 19.  Few would argue for the standardization of metrics so they could compare me with Ms. Brinkley.

So why do we demand such standardization for colleges and universities who are just as unique?

Websites such as collegeportraits.org or the StudentAchievementMeasures.org, or even school sponsored sites such as analytics.tamus.edu request submission of metrics, which standardize institutions as unique as Christie and I.

How does one portray “fit” which is a fundamental element of success for a college student?

How does an institution describe culture when using numbers and percentages? 

Is this the most appropriate engagement of the public’s time and resources?

Is this an effort to standardize education similar to that of the European Union with the Bologna Process?

Regardless of the intent, we need to slow down and refocus on bigger questions!

Sweet Briar College served 700 unique, individual students who found Sweet Briar to fit their unique identities.  These students who we say we serve, may not be a fit for other institutions.

For a country priding itself on the diversity of its offerings, this move seems to limit student choice for the future.  After generations have been educated and formed their identity at Sweet Briar, the likes of the mother of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy, Janet Bouvier, Jean Oliver Sarton (artist), and Molly Haskell (feminist film critic). 

Are we, as a collective people, willing to give up on women like them?  Are we willing to lose a future Diana Muldour or Elaine Dundy for the sake of mindless comparison?

Is it worth is to not have to examine, investigate, and crunch your own numbers?

In assessment we like to begin with the questions of why are you here?  What is your purpose?  Thus I inquire of the American higher educational system—what is your purpose?

·               Have we taken the standardization train as far as we can go?

·               Have we just stepped over the line?

Did we really just end a 114-year history? 

Sometimes closure is a good thing—but I believe we are at a point for close examination of costs and benefit…..and purpose.

Passion, Energy, and Ideas.....Do Strengths Die?

           

            I think back about my unmedicated “Activator” strength as thought I am thinking back over my “glory” days.

            Before Tarleton, the strengths were more pure, more raw, and definitely more lived-out with others.

            I think back now with the fondness of being in an environment that wanted ideas from everyone-not just a chosen few.  I think about how things were set up for individuals to succeed—literally success was a hallmark for individuals in their jobs and they were celebrated.

            I was celebrated.

            Then it all changed.  A new work environment and my ideas, energy, and planning is not wanted.

            Of course I’m not bright enough to figure that out, so I continued being me!

            Then the messages to change are communicated:

·      You don’t fit in here

·      You are not one of us

·      We like it the way it is—stop trying to make it that other place

So where do passion, ideas, and planning go to die?  How do you stop being who you are?

You medicate it.  With enough numbing, you can become someone you once knew….a long time ago.

Those things that brought you praise and affirmations at one time are now just memories of days long gone.

To cope, I changed.  And they say you can never step in the same river twice.  Those things which are “in the hay day” made me known for passion, ideas, energy, presentation…are they gone forever?

Now I’m known for being “nice” and “kind” and “quiet.”  Who is this person I’ve become…..or maybe I didn’t know who I was before?  How do I reconcile these two very (VERY) different experiences?

Is one experience “better” so I should attempt to affirm it?  Or should I take the best from each—as opposite as they may be—and develop a  new experience?

Even if I choose to develop a  new experience, I’m left with questions:

·      Why didn’t the strengths work as well in the new environment?

·      Did I just get older or did I get any better?

·      How do I not repeat this “mistake” again, in a new environment? (that’s a blog entry for another day on “fit!”)

·      Was it me?  Was it them?

Looking back now—has it been worth it?

Jesus said in James 2:5 that God has chosen “those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith.”  The growth in my faith over this last decade is undeniable.

I have been cut to my knees in every way and because of this “poor” status, I have relied on God.  Sometimes I have had to simply grope for Jesus and ride it out but the lesson is, I’ve learned where the Lord fits in my life!

He is the core and the cornerstone.  As I seemingly emerge from whatever mystical fog, I know this for sure:

·               I am in a relationship with a real and living Being who Loves me, knows my heart & soul better than I do, and walks hand-in-hand with me everyday.

·               I know I am loved, cherished, and called.

·               I know that as I wander around this human experience, I have a Savior with me.  I am never alone.

·               I know this journey is about learning to love:

o   Love God

o   Love Others

o   Love Myself

And ultimately it is a dynamic journey.  Never static—always moving, changing, and evolving.

The constant?  God’s love and presence for me.

So I continue onward.

January in the Rearview Mirror

January is already over!  The new of 2015 has worn off and we are into regular wear and tear!

January was hectic and I’m looking forward to February.

Related to our words:  rejuvenate and harmony

I feel like we did well with harmony.

I, personally, did not do well with my invitation of bringing more into my life with rejuvenation.  I need to work on this.

Related to my health:  I feel like I’m pulling into the passing lane!  I’m getting more control of my blood sugar as of the 27^th of the month.  While readings had been running 250-450, I am now back around 150.  I should feel better quickly.

During the month, Dr. Fung, helped me understand a little more about lupus.  Fortunately I am not in an active flare right now.  Although we ALL want to figure out the anemia.

My need for February is to invite myself to exercise more and experiment with a new flood plan, which involves more carbohydrates and vegetables.

My high point this month was flying to Los Angeles and presenting my dissertation findings then being Hooded.

February’s focus is going to be REJUVENATION & HARMONY THROUGH INTENTIONALITY.

Turning Over Rocks

Ray says I can’t write about reality.

He is right though, it always gets me into trouble.

So I’ll change things and use metaphor or disguise to protect myself.

Or maybe I’m protecting the innocent like that quote, the names have been changed to protect the innocent

I was wrestling with text.  The kind of text that makes you turn it around like a rock you just picked up and you want to see what is on the underside.

But the underside is that part of your brain, your emotions, where you know you shouldn’t go

It’s not safe there

Woundings happen, blood gets spilt, and tears flow

But really not by some thug, you do it to yourself.

Over and over you turn the rock and sure enough, there is that stinging worm,

But you cannot help youself,

You have to poke it.

And what happens when the worm responds?

I recoil.  Gasp! Why me?  Why did the response come my way? I whimper.

I feel targeted and alone.   I want to throw the rock.

And a tantrum.

But I steadymyself.

Is the worm’s response inordinate?

I mean, I did pick the rock up.  I did poke around.

I disturbed the natural environment.

What is my best approach?

Continue with the desired tantrum?

Or return the rock and restore balance, demonstrating my

Value for the worm’s order?

I choose to yield to the worm, the rock, and to a greater good.

It really is better to stay out of the underside too much or for too long.  Maintain a healthy respect for it and its order but don’t disrupt and don’t try to overly your order atop.

A force bigger than you and me is in control.

For The Weekend

Currently I am mesmerized by Sarah Kay!  I am reading her latest work No Matter The Wreckage.  LOVE IT!  LOVE HER!