Happiness Is....The Redneck Theologian's Response

Because I’m happy

Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth

Because I’m happy

Clap along if you know what happiness is to you

Because I’m happy

Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do

Here come bad news talking this and that, yeah,

Well, give me all you got, and don’t hold it back, yeah,

Well, I should probably warn you I’ll be just fine, yeah,

No offense to you, don’t waste your time

Here’s why

Can't nothing bring me down

My level's too high

Bring me down

Can't nothing bring me down

I said (let me tell you now)

Bring me down

Can't nothing bring me down

My level's too high

Bring me down

Can't nothing bring me down

I said

Philippians 4:11-13

New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

11 Not that I am referring to being in need; for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Elizabeth’s Reflections or “The Redneck Theologian”

Today Shannon provided a powerful and thought provoking message regarding our decision point between the point of stimuli and the choice of response we have in situations.  We each get to choose if we will be positive or negative in each situation.

Once we choose, we tend to self-reinforce our choices and create a cycle of habit.  These habits then, become the way we tend to be known.  Thus if we have a tendency to choose the positive and reinforce those choices, we are likely known as a positive person.  If we tend to choose the negative then reinforce such, then we may very well become known as a negative person.

Shannon began her message with a delightful video of a current song by the artist Pharrell with a cute video. The lyrics above help you understand why the song is taking the country by storm.  Everyone in American is doing the “happy” dance from Oprah to Good Morning America.  The positive affirmations of the lyrics and the upbeat music, which accompanies it, are appealing across genres.

In reading the scripture for today, we focus on the concept of being content-regardless of the situation.  Whether we are content in good times or content suffering. 

This reminds me of advice I recently wrote for my daughter upon her college graduation.  My husband and I each provided “advice to our daughter upon her graduation” in a booklet she might keep. In one note, I wrote a series of 10 pieces of advice and one point was “find happiness in the ordinary.”  I offered this advice because I believe it important that she cherish the everyday moments. As the poet William Blake opens one of his famous poems with, “To see a World in a Grain of Sand, And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand, And Eternity in an hour” I hope for her to find bliss in common moments, to see the extraordinary in the ordinary because it is the ordinary where we spend the majority of our moments and if we disregard those moments seeking only the high of the extraordinary, then we discard the majority of our life.

Shannon’s commentary made me think of Viktor E. Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning.  Frankl, a Holocaust survivor is famous for his pioneering of the belief that humans do have a choice in how they respond.

Frankl says,

If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering.  Suffering is an imperadicable part of life, even as fate and death.  Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete.  The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity—even under the most difficult circumstances—to add a deeper meaning to his life.

Frankl’s reflections, made all the more powerful knowing he drew his conclusions as he watched individuals deal with life and death before his very eyes. 

Thus between the point we receive a stimuli and the point of our response, we have a choice.  God has already provided Jesus for us and our battle has been won. We need not wallow in pity and wage a war filled with anger and bitterness.  The war has already been won. 

We may choose to live our lives in a way that defines us, with a deeper meaning, as a child of God, dealing with joyful and difficult circumstances, but always as a Child of an all-powerful God.

Loved this post:

http://manofdepravity.com/2014/02/the-back-door/

Pointing Fingers As People Walk Out the Back Door

by Tyler

Pastors are weary of what they call “the back door”—the people who leave without saying anything, giving the pastor no idea of why. The back door is one reason church life is difficult. People who you have given your life for sometimes leave at the drop of a hat.

I’ve seen something interesting happen online in the past few weeks. Recently Relevant Magazine featured an article on really bad reasons to leave church. As a pastor, I agreed with the article. As someone who knows people who have left church for the reasons mentioned, I cringed. Maybe I’m getting soft, but I wondered how the words of the article would sting. Maybe they should?
Then earlier this week Donald Miller wrote about the reasons he finds himself not pursuing church life. Don and I connected through The Mentoring Project back when he and I were both in Portland. Don is 100 times the writer I’ll ever be. He played a role in planting a church in Portland that has literally changed the city. I have a high level of respect for Don. I honestly believe Don is a prophetic voice for Christians today. I don’t say that flippantly.
As you can imagine, many a church going folk has shamed Don for his lack of church involvement. “Church isn’t about you.” “Chuch is about community.” “You’re just focusing on your own feelings, being selfish.” You can imagine the backlash from church apologizers. Honestly, these kinds of statements were my first reaction.
Why is it the first reaction of church attenders to shame those who haven’t found it to be a home?
A couple reasons stand out. First, insecurity. What if more people leave? What if there’s a mass exodus for the back door? Maybe we’re just scared of what it could mean if more people start buying into the idea that church can happen anywhere.
Second, as much as any other demographic, Christians have a desire to be right, not wrong. If God commanded us to go to church, while also being part of The Church, then we must go. So those who choose to walk out the back door are wrong, and those who stay are right, the church-goers say to themselves.
We’re so busy pointing fingers at people as they walk out the back door that we’re missing how the church is partly to blame. 
Why do you go to church? How you answer that question ultimately shapes what church is. If church is music and teaching as Don describes—if church ceases to be a place of formation, depth, and community, it’s no wonder the back door is a reality. Amidst the push to stand out for the sake of relevance, the pop culture church is becoming irrelevant.
How many read Relevant’s article on bad reasons to leave the church and thought, “I guess I’m one of those bad people”? Rather than piling guilt on those who leave church, let’s instead start pointing fingers ourselves, and our churches.
Bill Hybels is well known for saying that “the local church is the hope of the world.” I believe this to be true, but not if we’re content pointing fingers at those who walk away, instead of building for the coming Kingdom by forming thriving churches.
We can do better.

Overflow

Over the holidays I subscribed (not sure how I did it) to a service that helps one improve one’s blogging.  Each day there is a new prompt or tip with an associated link that will assist for a fee.  I have not subscribed to the fee at this time but today’s prompt piqued my interest because it was on the notion of progress.

It seems that everyone is focused on making progress because of the new year and new beginnings.

Yet, while so many individuals are focused on progress, more individuals seem to be focused on failure.  Multiple news stories, interviews, tweets, and facebook posts detail the upcoming failures that befall so many individuals that it seems our motto simply should be “Ready, Set, Fail!”

So, why bother?

Simply-setting a goal does move you forward in a positive direction.  I believe that done correctly, a goal assists in forward progression.  Setting a realistic, measureable, and practical goal with an appropriate timeline will allow an individual to advance.

One of my goals for this year is to live more open-heartedly.  During the holiday I viewed Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday program.  The guest that particular day was Marianne Williamson.  Ms. Williamson proposed that we, as humans, are unable to live whole heartedly if we live with a fear-based orientation.  We cannot serve both fear and love.  Rather we much choose between one or the other-but not both.  Ms. Williamson explained that she arises each morning and asks the Divine “who must I forgive today?”  She then forgives anyone shown to her and ask for blessings and love to pour forth for them.  Ms. Williamson hopes to live her life demonstrating love, not fear.

It is my own hope that I can demonstrate such whole heartedness as well.  I am asking to receive this year, to be open to the Divine’s use, to be a catalyst for blessing others, for being a blessing to others. 

My hope is to ask the Divine to allow me to receive in a way that I overflow with richness and blessings.

Student Affairs Staff Should Listen to Phil Robertson

I have been following the dialogue back and forth regarding what Phil Robertson did or did not say (although I have read the transcript) and ultimately I believe that as a Student Affairs practitioner, I have an obligation, as do ALL Student Affairs practitioners to respond positively and with respect to Phil Robertson.  Sadly I have witnessed my peers refer to this family as “hillbillies” and demean this family.  I question whether or not these individuals deserve the negative impact any more than Kim Kardashian deserves the negative impact of her exploits? Are these similar situations or are they different? Are these groups with agendas simply trying to get their agenda into the public’s eye long enough to make a difference? Here are the reasons why I believe we must, at the minimum, evaluate each individual’s agenda:

As a Student Affairs Practitioner, one of our guiding organization’s (NASPA) website indicates that the Diversity statement reads, “Exploring and learning about diversity, inclusion, and equity has become an increased focus in many sectors of our global community. Within the field of higher education, there are several central agreements regarding the importance of diversity a) Diversity, b) Learning, c) Integrity, d) Service, e) Fellowship,  f) Spirit of Inquiry, g) Collaboration h) Access

Diversity is not new. While the words used to describe diversity may vary over time and between individuals, the concepts do not. These concepts include being aware of personal bias, valuing the differences in human interaction, fostering inclusiveness, and many more. In the student affairs field learning and encouraging these concepts has become increasingly important.

In this situation, I must do the following:

I need to be aware of personal bias:  I have a tendency to not recognize “local” needs inclusion as much or as easily as I can recognize external or distant needs.  It seems to be easier for us to recognize the need for inclusion when I am dealing with someone from India for example than someone from West Monroe, Louisiana.  However, I need to remind myself that this is the exact same.  Although I do not necessarily think about eating squirrel brains like Miss Kay does, I must respect that it is a part of the diet of the Robertson family just as lamb may be a part of the diet of a Moroccan family.  I have to step away from the situation and recognize my personal bias.

I have to spend time valuing the differences in human interaction.  Although I do not spend time hunting, and fishing nor do I spend much time being in nature-these things are a big part of the Robertson’s life and quite frankly they are a major part of my partner, Ray’s life.  Ray values these things and enjoys them a great deal.  I respect his priorities and make time for him to be able to exercise his hobbies.  I value this difference and have come to really treasure making this a priority for Ray.

It is essential that we make a point to be “living the commitment.”

While Phil Robertson is not from an exotic land with a foreign pedigree that will win us points for embracing some big deal, it is imperative that we stand with our commitment to explore all perspective and all our differences to shape us even when that means those close to home, those who may be “hillbillies” and who may even be “our own” remind us that even the most similar can teach us difference. 

God & People

“I’m ok with this”

She made half the sign of the cross—the horizontal part

“But not this”

She made the other half—the vertical part

What she was telling me was that she wasn’t so sure about the whole God thing but she knew she was good with relationships.  “She” is my sorority sister.  I adore her, I talk to her all the time, and we have great conversations.  She’s graduating soon.  She is one of those rare students who have the bubbly exuberance of youthfulness yet that piercing insight that comes from wisdom.

I didn’t give it much thought at the time except to note it.  But it chattered at me.  The simple nature of it was actually so complex.  To be comfortable with relationship-to trust in the beauty of brothers and sisters was so foundational.  Yes, yes she was on to something.  Let me ruminate on this a bit. 

So it began to chatter at me. 

“I’m ok with this”

She made half the sign of the cross—the horizontal part

“But not this”……….

It made me think of a rough burlap tapestry…woven together with such different threads.  This one of rough earthen rope, this one of a burgundy hue, this one of navy.  Each contributing to the overall beauty while maintaining its uniqueness all the same.

Then I was reading Henri Nouwen’s Life of the Beloved.  There are two areas that Fr. Nouwen writes so beautifully that my sister’s words came flooding towards me like a tsunami of beauty that I realized what she was saying was absolutely the truth.  She was right, THIS is the way we were meant to be:  loving each other, being right with each other, doing the right thing for each other, and simply being there for each other no matter what.  She was getting it right. 

But there is something that undergirds us.  Something holds us together.  What makes love work?  Is there something bigger than love?  Where did love come from?  Where was love invented?  Whose notion was love?  Who seeded love? 

Nouwen, in discussing his belief that each of us is a chosen, beloved child of a loving God, writes, “you have to keep looking for people and places where your truth is spoken and where you are reminded of your deepest identity as the chosen one.  Yes, we must dare to opt consciously for our chosenness and not allow our emotions, feelings, or passions to seduce us into self-rejection.  The synagogues, the churches, the many communities of faith, the different support groups helping us with our addictions, family, friends, teachers, truth.  The limited, sometimes broken, love of those who share our humanity can often point us to the truth of who we are:  precious in God’s eyes.  This truth is not simply an inner truth that emerges from our center.  It is also a truth that is revealed to us by the One who has chosen us.  That is why we have to keep listening to the many men and women in history who, through their lives and their words, call us back to it.”

Finally, Nouwen says “you have to celebrate your chosenness constantly.  This means saying “thank you” to God for having chosen you, and “thank you” to all who remind you of your chosenness.”

As I think about this-I have to think that she and I really meet in the middle.  It takes both. While I may be more “ok” with God than I am His people and she is more “ok” with people that God we are both on a journey helping each other, shining a light for each other, and making our way together.  Being chosen, in whatever way we are, makes the world better for both of us and I’m glad she is a part of my world!

What Am I Here For?

I've been wrestling with purpose for awhile now and by awhile I mean a number of years.  I've gotten to the point where I'm getting out of my head and on paper.

Let me be CLEAR.  This in NO WAY requires a job change.  If you wonder about that, read Allison Vesterfelt's e-book called "The Chase."  Some GREAT work there.  What Allison helped me realize is that it is totally fine to LOVE my work and to use my work to stimulate my writing!  *whew*  

Now that we have that out of the way-I'm not quitting my job.  Here we go:

I am called to be a writer

I am called to communicate in a way in which helps others connects with the struggle to matter and to usher those feelings forward in a manageable cadence.

I am called to help others anchor the unknown to the known of self and God.

The Church Journey-For Now

Going to Church:  I Should Versus I Desire

Three friends from college maintained a solid relationship through the twenty some-odd years since college—ushering us into 2013.  The three friends are all upper middle-class working folks who seem to be checking off the right boxes for the American dream: 

ü  married,

ü  children,

ü  civically engaged,

ü  active church members,

ü  active in their children’s lives

Switching gears for a moment:

I have been thinking about attending church for  years.  I mean YEARS—really since I was at Baylor (1997).  There was a time when someone at Baylor said “you need to get your name on a Baptist church roster.” So I did.  And I went to church for a good while.  It was ok. 

But what I really enjoyed was a small group (about 6 of us) we had at a friend’s house where we read the book Blue Like Jazz together. Now that kept me engaged—it was fun, it was stimulating, it was meaningful, it was authentic, it was a blessing, and it made me closer to Christ.

Anyway, for probably about 20 years now someone in my life has been saying “go to church.” But not much within has urged me to make it a regular practice. In the past year though, I have really questioned myself about whether or not I needed to attend church.  I mean honestly here is my argument:

·         I have experienced substantial spiritual growth over the past two years (more growth than in the last 10 years combined) on my own (well, in conversation/relationship with Ray) through reading the Bible, study of spiritual growth-oriented text, writing, inquiry, and in conversation with my friends, coworkers

·         I keep a daily time where I read the Bible, read a supplemental text, journal, reflect, and pray

·         I talk to friends, family, and others about my spiritual journey

·         I work daily to live a life of love to reflect Jesus in everything I do

I recently listened to the Purpose Drive Life by Rick Warren.  Mr. Warren said I need to be in church.  He said I need to be in church because:

·         That’s where I get spiritually fed

·         That’s where I encounter people who are imperfect and need me to demonstrate that I can love them

To me Mr. Warren’s argument isn’t strong enough to get me to commit to attend a church. 

Now-back to where we began—these three friends were all active in their churches for the 20 years since college.  Let’s call the friends Tammy, Sammy, and Cammy.  Tammy and Sammy were literally bestest, bestest friends.  But through the years they were still close friends with Cammy too.  One day though Cammy was helping Sammy get some work done for Tammy and Sammy noted some confusion.  Cammy explained to Sammy that at times Tammy’s leadership style would change and you simply had to adjust to it and move on.

Sammy though made that next move where we have a choice of whether or not to move…..Sammy told Tammy what Cammy said.  Now Tammy was mad at Cammy.  Tammy blew up and told Sammy never to interact with Cammy again, never to rely on Cammy as a resource again and to distance herself from Cammy.

So Sammy has.  The only problem is that Sammy needs Cammy.  Cammy has incredible resources that Sammy could use to be successful.  But now Cammy has taken her cue and said no ma’am, I’m out of this.

Now-Tammy and Sammy are big leaders in the church. They lead the Ladies Group for the entire church and are known as pillars for the entire church which is a leader in the town.

So Mr. Warren is right in the aspect that at the church I would certainly encounter others who are imperfect and need to have the love of Christ demonstrated towards them. 

But then again, these are individuals who are “noble” LEADERS in both their jobs, their towns, and their church.  They have an air of righteousness and are not open to have others speak the truth in love to them.

So-what happens to Mr. Warren’s argument though if I work with Tammy, Sammy, and Cammy?  Don’t I still have the same opportunity to love the imperfect persons?  Might I have an opening to speak the truth in love by asking about modeling Jesus’ love if I have the opportunity related to their strained relationship?  Might I have an opportunity such as “Sammy, you are not going to lunch with Cammy like you used to, what is going on?” which may lead to a worthy conversation? 

Now my own human spirit is a bit disheartened by Sammy.  I had really hoped Sammy was above that behavior.  I literally said out loud today:  has Sammy NOT heard a thing in church over the last 20 years?  Has Sammy MISSED the point for 20 years?  What is wrong with Sammy?

Ray said to me “duh-it is all for show you know!”  Deep sigh.  I had hoped that there was some authenticity in there but I think Ray is right (which is usually the case). It is more about checking the boxes than living authentically. 

Honestly, I’ll take the small Blue Like Jazz group over church then.  There is a quote that says the more I get to know people, the more I like my dog.  I kind of have to agree.  The more I get to know some people that are church “leaders” the less I am inclined to lend myself to a church body.  Why would I give myself to Tammy and Sammy’s organization?  Why would I go be vulnerable, authentic, engaged, real for them when they are fake and inauthentic in reality?

I have to say that for me, for this season, I’ll take my current findings:

·         I will continue to keep a daily time to read the Bible, read a supplemental text, journal, reflect, and pray

·         I will continue to talk to friends, family, and others about my spiritual journey

·         I will work daily to live a life of love to reflect Jesus in everything I do

Amen for today