Patience vs. Endurance

                I journal pretty much every day.  One of the things I did recently was consider how the years at my current work had taught me different things. 

                I noted that I had developed patience.  Upon considering it longer, I’m not sure I actually learned patience as much as I endured the environment.

                I began to explore the difference between patience and endurance.  Here is what I’ve learned.  Patience (or longsuffering from the Bible) is more of a reaction.  The opposite of anger.  It is more of a short-term experience such as self-restraint.

                Endurance is more of a long-term response of not surrendering.  Endurance is associated with hope.  In reflection, I definitely believe I have endured more than developed patience.

                I still have the sense of urgency about me when a committee decision has been made but someone continues to belabor points.  I want to say “enough talk, let’s see some action!”

                I wanted to look more deeply into endurance versus patience but have not, thus far, found a great deal with the exception of looking at endurance athletes. 

                One article noted that three things helped endurance athletes:  consistency, progression, and you got it, patience!  Thus another confirmation that patience is a sub-component of endurance!

                So what does this mean for me?  It helps me recognize that over the last 10 years, I may not have lost my way as much as I have thought; rather I was in a survival mode due to having to endure the environment that was less than supportive of thriving and I do have contributions to still make from my giftedness.

                In my newest role, I am feeling the rekindling of excitement about my work.  I haven’t been excited about my work in probably 6 years.  Yes you read that right, 6 years.  For the past years I’ve been in survival mode.  I am learning that the mind, like the body, changes when subjected to long term stress.  The things I thought had changed in me (passion, calling and so forth) hadn’t changed, they just had to go dormant in order to endure.

                I’m cautiously optimistic for the future.  Let’s face it, I’m older and jaded now so thus the cautious part!

                I would love to hear some of your endurance versus patience thoughts!  Feel free to leave a comment below:

Losing Leadership

One of my biggest worries about moving from residence life/housing has been that I’ll “forget” how to lead.  I know it sounds silly but I was worried that I would forget how to have that “edge” or what it is like to think about leading over 100 people.

                Four years into my exile I realized something.  Maybe the whole point is that I forget.  Maybe I am supposed to forget and start anew.

                Could it be?  I mean I spent so much time watching my former boss (at Baylor) change the culture of a department, speak into people’s lives, and receive every benefit one could think of in the organization.  I considered that my role model.  I learned a great deal.

                So could it be that I was supposed to move away from that?  After I’d worked so hard at emulation!  So it was with a big sigh (was that relief?) that I decided to stop worrying about forgetting.  I decided that it was just fine to forget.  As a matter of fact I should forget!

                And start anew!  A different paradigm.  I admit that a lot has changed for me in the last four years.  I have spent three years now in a new church with a new pastor shaping my spirituality and values.  I have spent the last four years serving under four leaders who represent a vast spectrum of leadership abilities and styles.  And, I have spent a great deal of time learning about myself.

                I thought I knew myself well, but I had no idea!  So how will I be different in the future?  I am not sure.  I know that many years ago, I said that I wanted to serve as a Vice President so I could “help shape the plans and strategies for a division of student life.”

                I no longer desire to be a Vice President.  Too political.  However, in my new role back in the Division of Student Life, guess what I’m doing?  I am eagerly spending my time helping shape the plans and strategies of the departments within student life.  I am loving what I’m doing right now.  I am having fun and getting to live my values.

               

And it is good.  Was I a leader back then?  I suppose I was, but I do not think I was the best leader I could be.  Am I a leader now? I suppose I am, in a different way.  Fewer people, but more influence.

                I’m reading a book right now entitled, Essentialism, The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown.  The mantra for the book just happens to be “less, but better.”  Seems pretty timely to me!

                I am thankful for the last four years of “hard labor” because a new leadership within me has been formed.  I am enjoying myself each day and liking me is a major accomplishment.  For that, I am so thankful.  For what my former Baylor leader taught me, I am thankful and for what I am teaching myself I know, it will be priceless.  I will use this giftedness to its highest and best use!

A Life of Downward Mobility

2015 was a tough year for us.  Financially we struggled terribly.  While we are still putting our feet back under us, we are doing so in a new form—not simply reassembling what was already entrenched.

Going through a year as difficult as 2015 was, my husband and I had the opportunity to clarify our values.  When you lose so much, you then get to choose the place of value that entity held.  For example we let go of our XM Radio subscription.  Sure I have missed it at points but for someone who lives seven tenths of a mile from work, the commute is not impacted much!  Most days now I do not even have music on, I use that moment to pray or prepare myself for my day.

My husband and I also went without cable and internet for the year.  What we learned was that we were being negatively influenced by the evening drama shows known as news and we no longer valued the learning potential.  We modified our intake drastically and have learned to absorb with a stronger, value-laden filter.

For a little while I wondered “why” but fairly quickly I learned to appreciate the lessons God was teaching us.  I read a statement recently by Richard Rohr and he posed the question, “Surely God didn’t call only His Son to downward mobility?”

As we continue to walk out of the shadow of 2015, we do so with a perspective of downward mobility.  My husband and I will not re-subscribe to XM.  As a matter of fact we’re enjoying actual conversations with each other daily and on long trips.  We, I’m enjoying the conversations, and I think he endures them!

We are learning to truly, TRULY trust God for our daily bread and move in the direction of flexibility which will allow us to be more responsive to God’s will.

2015 was tough.  2016 has been better but we are clinging to the lessons we learned and believe we are doing the right thing to consider a life of downward mobility.

Pouring Into Your Giftedness

Yesterday I met with about 250 new first-year students and presented them with the Strengths Philosophy.  I told them that this coming year was going to challenge their fundamental assumptions and push them beyond what they could believe.

I also challenged the students to find something that makes their heart sing and get involved in it.  No matter what the club/sport/organization is, whether it be the Bass Fishing Club, a running group (what are these people thinking?), or a Greek organization.

I said that to be successful in college, they were going to have to pour everything they had into their academic work and so there needed to be one thing in their life that poured back into them.

I think about what work has drained me over the years and what work has energized me.  As you might expect, when I am working in an area of strength, I feel energized.  Time flies and before you know it, the task is achieved.  When I’m working outside my strengths, it is a drudgery.  Time creeps and it feels like there will never be progress made.

It struck me that when Jesus was talking to the woman at the well in John 4:34, Jesus said that his nourishment comes from doing the will of God.  Thus, Jesus is filled by doing what he is called to do and what he is gifted to do.

I believe pouring into our strengths that have been given by God nourishes us.  Here Jesus makes it clear, provides the example.  When we are in the will of God, our soul is nourished.  We are filled.  We are not lacking.

How do we pour into our unique gifts?

1.       Prayer-we must seek a relationship with the real and living God.  Forget about the “thou” and “shalt” vocabulary.  Get real and tell God your heart.  Then rest and listen.  There are two sides to this coin, the talking towards/at God and the talk coming from God to us.  In order to “hear” or rather discern God’s “talk,” we must be still, stop our distractions, and sit with our soul.

2.       Connect-I have found growth in my community of believers.  I resisted being a part of a church for a long time.  I knew the reputation the church has and I simply wasn’t interested in being a part of the politics, the gossip, the judgment.  But what I found was a completely different group!  I plugged in and began to find relationships and fellowship.  I have been able to stretch my wings and begin to use my gifts in fresh, new ways.

3.       Develop yourself- I grow through the written word..whether it is the Bible or a book on spiritual development.  Others may listen to podcasts or sermons, or and audio book.  Still others may attend an online workshop or a seminar in person.  Whatever your preference, open yourself to development.

4.       Output-you need to exercise your strengths in service to others.  I don’t care how you do it, but talk to your faith-group leadership about ways to plug in and exercise who you were created to be.

These four steps will help you grow and expand your gifts, your strengths.  You will find blessings beyond what you can imagine.  I believe in the power of the strengths you have been gifted with.  I believe in the power of God.  With those two things, how can you do anything wrong!

Showing Up to Creativity

It’s ironic to me that I have read Julia Cameron’s The Artist Way, do my Morning Pages faithfully and even bought additional Cameron books on writing yet I still believed I could muscle my way through without adhering to a regular practice of just showing up regularly to write.

Of course, in my all or nothing mind, I thought it necessary to write daily.  When I couldn’t get to writing daily, I found that weeks would slip by and I had written nothing except my daily journal pages.  So, instead of doing the same thing but expecting different results, I am making a change in my world.

I will now expect myself to write on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.  I will focus on a paragraph for the blog each appointment and then work on a larger-scaled project.  Hopefully this will allow me to show up for creativity, forming a routine writing practice, but not fall prey to the all or nothing mentality.

So far, here are the things I’m learning about myself and writing:

1.       Once I force myself to put ink to paper (yes, that’s correct, I still hand

write everything) the words flow more easily and even when I do struggle, at least I’ve got a draft on the page and everyone knows it is easier to edit than go from a blank space.

2.       Stop doing the same things but expecting different results.  Thank you Dr. Albert Einstein for defining insanity for us!  For too long now I have continued to behave in the exact same way but expected different results.  So, I guess I thought that not spending time writing would somehow result in written material.  Go figure.  I’m a little slow on the uptake.

3.       Do not fall prey to all or nothing thinking.  Something is better than nothing. I am trying to transfer this thinking to other areas of my life also such as diet/exercise/health! 

Driving on Purpose

Back on Thursday, May 5, 2016, I wrote a blog about my One Little Word® “open.”  

You can read that blog here: About Open

Today I want to ruminate on the intersection of calling (or your purpose) and open.  I have always thought that one’s purpose or calling was a fixed “thing” that was hidden and had to be “found.”

Maybe I am altering my view because of my own life’s journey but maybe referring to calling as something to be “found” or impressing upon young people that their purpose is “out there” is simply an incorrect concept.

What if purpose or calling is actually more like the road we are traveling than a fixed entity along the road?  

What if we do not stop at a structure and announce we have “found” our calling but rather we embrace calling as the drive itself?  

What if calling is the winding, uphill, downhill, road where sometimes we are caught in bumper-to-bumper traffic and sometimes we are out for a backroads drive on an old country lane?

What if we came to embrace the drive as our purpose and did not get too concerned when we are in bumper-to-bumper traffic because we know that sometime in the future we will have an opportunity to meander along the lane in no rush?

What if our purpose if simply different at different points in our life but we know that what is right is right now?

And if we could just relax a bit and roll down the windows of life and let the cool breeze drift through the car as we wave to our neighbors along the road?

Wouldn’t that be so much more wonderful?  I know I would have been so much more relaxed if someone had told me to not worry about the “structure” and just embrace the ride.

Of course we each have unique giftedness and I believe are called to strive for achieving our best but what if we all just agreed to do our best and enjoy the ride?  

No need to worry about the passengers in the other cars or that one car just sped by, the probably had a need that was pressing and hadn’t figured out yet to enjoy the drive.

I think I will make a much better driver thinking along these lines and not being too bunched up about arriving somewhere.  I hope you will too.

Summer 2016

Each June brings me an interesting change of pace.  Working in higher education means that so many people assume I get summers off. 

Since beginning college, I have not gotten summers off!  Actually my last summer off was Summer of 1983.  That was the summer before my Senior year of high school.

These days, as have been the case for a number of years, I have a dual role for summer days.  The first role is to wind down the previous academic year.  The second role, but not secondary, is to prepare for the upcoming academic year.

The winding down role consist of helping individuals reflect on their own academic years and collect Annual Reports.

The gearing up role consist of getting calendars together, preparing for planning, meetings, and scheduling the new year while we prepare a new group of incoming students to charge forth and take their place on the American landscape.

In years past, I have not given a great deal of thought to the summer months as I have been too busy to notice the months’ swift passing.  This year I have noticed with a unique perspective that summer blazed upon us (literally and figuratively) within what seems like moments we went from a moderate temperature to almost 100 degrees. 

It is going to be a long, very hot summer.  So I want to consider what I am inviting into my life this June.  I recently watched Jon Acuff (http://acuff.me/) on a little free webinar and was quite impressed with his vision and insights.

I subscribed to Acuff’s blog and this summer he has issued a “1500 Minute Challenge” where each day for 15 minutes you work on a specific skill.  This selected skill is one you wish to improve upon and Acuff notes that it holds reasonably likely that after practicing this skill for 1500 minutes, you will have improved.

Then I read Emily P. Freeman’s blog (http://emilypfreeman.com/blog/) about June and loved her quote, “We’ll see how this June wants to play.”

I love the picture this gives me of June being separate from me, just something to be experienced but not kept.

Ali Edwards (http://aliedwards.com/blog) often writes about what you invite into your life.  Thus I wanted to think about what I’m inviting into my life this summer. 

So far this year I have been working on openness and I will continue to cultivate that.  But I want to spend this summer at a little slower pace than I have experienced previous summers.

I want to spend slower evenings and lingering weekends.  I want to saturate myself in love and laughter and let Summer 2016 lazily stroll through like a parade instead of a turbo rocket.

Here’s to you Summer ’16, may you be sweet.