Do-ing

I've spent the last two days as a recluse! I actually feel like I've gotten some work done. I wanted to get some reading done on cohesion or group cohesiveness, so I started Friday afternoon. (I took Saturday off because Ray and I went to Waco to pick up some items there from Lowes.) However, all day Sunday was devoted to reading about cohesiveness and then more reading today.

I am beginning to get a grasp on the concept but I read and find a great resource that is older, then read more and find another great resource that is even older. My effort to read chronologically hasn't quite panned out the way I planned it but that's ok too.

I now need to go back and summarize each article that I've read so I can formulate some sort of outline to really get a grasp on things. I have a big stack of articles so it may take awhile! Some of the ruminations or research is like reading Greek. I don't understand Greek!

I was able to talk with Alex today and got some inspiration from that conversation. Things are off and rolling with the dissertation plans. I am working on Committee Person #3 and hope to get a "yes" to my question of "will you be my committee friend" that I'm asking this week!

TEDxKC - Brené Brown - The Price of Invulnerability

Nice Thought from Brene' Brown

Enjoying the Quiet Today

Today the University had to close due to the installation of something electrical. When we left work on Wednesday we were urged to unplug everything due to possible current surges. I took the opportunity of being home, in the quiet, to have writing surges of my own. I committed to beginning putting some thoughts on paper regarding team effectiveness and thus I've been working a little each day on this goal.

I looked at frameworks for analysis today. I highlighted two main ones and am now discussing a summary of general analysis themes. I will finish writing from the material I have this weekend and will begin to look at team cohesion. I have much reading yet to do and then writing must follow.

It is a good time to be studying teams (effectiveness and cohesion), trust, and strengths as I work in a very dynamic environment!

Tipping the Hat to Vulnerability & Qualitative Research

My One Little Word: do

Inspired by Ali Edwards (http://aliedwards.com/2010/12/one-little-word-2011.html) I have chosen the word DO for 2011.

In 2011 I plan to DO the following:

1. Make significant and positive progress on my dissertation

2. Pass my comprehensive exams (in April)

3. Focus on exercise and do another 5k

4. Establish short (after PhD) and long term goals for myself

The Realization That I Am A Perfectionist

I remember each week in Kindergarden we got special drawing/painting time. It was such a special time that before I began Kindergarden one of the required "school supplies" was a smock. I'd never owned a smock before. This apron-like attire was used to cover our clothing on the special art days.

My grandmother made my smock and I was so proud of it. I went almost the entire year without getting anything on my smock. Not one drop, not a splash, not a dribble of paint. I was so very careful.

I was so careful that I realized the first time I painted that I didn't get anything on me. To assure this fact stayed true, I decided to paint the same thing every week.

I remember one of my teachers asking me why I painted the same thing every week. I just shrugged but the real reason was because I didn't want my smock untidy.

So I painted the same thing EVERY week. I'm sure there are some psychological case studies that could be drawn from this behavior, but I realize now, it was the birth of my perfectionism. I found one way to do something and simply repeated what worked. I liked tidy. I disliked untidy. And thus the next 44 years of my life went!

I'm now reading the book Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. She expresses that it is important to be messy with your writing of your first draft. BE MESSY? Oh My! Now that's going to take some doing-me, untidy? Wow. I'll have to work on that-the perfectionist in me has prevented me from putting many things on paper....just now I wanted to write "prevented me from putting alot on paper" but I know it's untidy to write alot and thus I automatically rephrased my wording before I even put it down! I've got some work to do!

This might be a challenge but I have a feeling it might be fun (and a struggle at the same time) but maybe I'll just dirty up my smock.....what's the worst thing that can happen....according to Lamott I need a "shitty" first draft in order to get to a good second draft!