Monday, May 9, 2016

Advice to my Young (Current & Future) Self



I have been thinking a bit about what advice I would give to my younger self.  Over the last four years-ish, I have really been struggling with some issues so I began to think about the “what if” scenarios.  What if I had done this or not done that?  What if this hadn’t happened or that had taken place?  One can spend much time wallowing in the “what if” zone.
But I wanted to be more productive, more positive and ultimately make a difference for my future. 
While I’m entitling this little entry “advice to my younger self,” it turns out to also be advice to my current self!

·         You are beautiful just as you are. 
o   People will emotionally beat you up for being who you are.  Be who you are.  God likes you and that’s all that matters.
o   Stop and do not repeat the abuse of your body.  It is going to be the thing that carries you the long distance so be kind to it.

My Body
I’m beautiful just as I am.  Not too long ago, I came to terms with (if you ever really come to terms with anything) the fact that I’m going to struggle with my weight forever.  It will never be a non-issue. 

It has been an issue since I was four years old and it will be an issue forever.  But I can control how much of an issue it is.

Don’t let it be a consuming issue.  Learn to eat for fuel, not for fun.  Don’t abuse your body.  It turns out that your body is the thing that sticks with you long term so treat it well and hopefully it will carry you a long way.

Be Who You Are
People will beat you up for being who you are.  Be you anyway.  Most people who talk about you, laugh at you, or cut you down are actually so down on themselves it is not you they dislike-it’s them.
God didn’t create us to be cookie-cutter people.  God truly wants people to be unique and God likes you just like you are.  Don’t strive to be like others-just be you!

Change
·         The grass is going to look greener, smell better, and often call to you from the other side.  Don’t rush into change.

·         You are going to tell people to keep walking through doors because God will close the ones that are not supposed to be open.  Maybe it’s better to slow down and (See #1) analyze the doors, test the doors, and push the doors, before you run through them.

·         You are impulsive, figure that out earlier and build a tribe to check your impulsivity.  That will pay off in the end.

At 50, I realize I have spent my lifetime chasing some things and it turns out, I’ve lived to regret a thing or two.  While, in the immediate, the grass looked and smelled better than the side I was one, I would have probably been better off just saying on my side of the pasture.  There are a couple of times I cut the fence that I wish I could take back.  I shouldn’t have rushed into change.

Over the course of my life I’ve dished out some bad advice.  One thing I’ve said is that you should keep walking through doors because God will close the ones you’re not supposed to walk through.  Now that I think about it, maybe I should have been a better partner with God rather than just making God shoulder 99.9% of it all. 

Maybe it’s better to slow down, analyze the doors, test the doors, and push them slightly before running through them.  See advice about greener grass above.  Grass that is dead but spray painted green still looks good from a distance.  But it’s dead.

Relationships
·         Learn to trust those who count.
o   It’s worth it.

·         Expand relationships.  You need more than one friend.

Learning to trust has been pretty much one of the hardest lessons of my life.  But it is worth it.  I’m not saying placing trust won’t be a mistake, but once I’ve vetted something, I should go for it.  And don’t take 50 years to vet something.

I have even written a blog before on my fascination with the number one.  My advice to my younger self would be to amass a tsunami of friends.  Don’t guard myself too much.  It’s ok to have a large circle of influence but a smaller group of trusted advisors.  Gather friends like a bucket of blackberries.  Each one a different flavor, intensity, ripeness.  But putting them all together makes a great cobbler and a great life.


Don’t limit relationships (by Nadine Bruner).

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