I have been thinking a bit about what advice I would give to my younger self. Over the last four years-ish, I have really been struggling with some issues so I began to think about the “what if” scenarios. What if I had done this or not done that? What if this hadn’t happened or that had taken place? One can spend much time wallowing in the “what if” zone.
But I wanted to be more productive, more positive and ultimately
make a difference for my future.
While I’m entitling this little entry “advice to my younger
self,” it turns out to also be advice to my current self!
·
You are beautiful just as you are.
o
People will emotionally beat you up for being
who you are. Be who you are. God likes you and that’s all that matters.
o
Stop and do not repeat the abuse of your
body. It is going to be the thing that
carries you the long distance so be kind to it.
My Body
I’m beautiful just as I am.
Not too long ago, I came to terms with (if you ever really come to terms
with anything) the fact that I’m going to struggle with my weight forever. It will never be a non-issue.
It has been an issue since I was four years old and it will
be an issue forever. But I can control how
much of an issue it is.
Don’t let it be a consuming issue. Learn to eat for fuel, not for fun. Don’t abuse your body. It turns out that your body is the thing that
sticks with you long term so treat it well and hopefully it will carry you a
long way.
Be Who You Are
People will beat you up for being who you are. Be you anyway. Most people who talk about you, laugh at you,
or cut you down are actually so down on themselves it is not you they
dislike-it’s them.
God didn’t create us to be cookie-cutter people. God truly wants people to be unique and God
likes you just like you are. Don’t
strive to be like others-just be you!
Change
·
The grass is going to look greener, smell
better, and often call to you from the other side. Don’t rush into change.
·
You are going to tell people to keep walking
through doors because God will close the ones that are not supposed to be
open. Maybe it’s better to slow down and
(See #1) analyze the doors, test the doors, and push the doors, before you run
through them.
·
You are impulsive, figure that out earlier and
build a tribe to check your impulsivity.
That will pay off in the end.
At 50, I realize I have spent my lifetime chasing some
things and it turns out, I’ve lived to regret a thing or two. While, in the immediate, the grass looked and
smelled better than the side I was one, I would have probably been better off
just saying on my side of the pasture.
There are a couple of times I cut the fence that I wish I could take
back. I shouldn’t have rushed into
change.
Over the course of my life I’ve dished out some bad
advice. One thing I’ve said is that you
should keep walking through doors because God will close the ones you’re not
supposed to walk through. Now that I
think about it, maybe I should have been a better partner with God rather than
just making God shoulder 99.9% of it all.
Maybe it’s better to slow down, analyze the doors, test the
doors, and push them slightly before running through them. See advice about greener grass above. Grass that is dead but spray painted green
still looks good from a distance. But it’s
dead.
Relationships
·
Learn to trust those who count.
o
It’s worth it.
·
Expand relationships. You need more than one friend.
Learning to trust has been pretty much one of the hardest
lessons of my life. But it is worth
it. I’m not saying placing trust won’t
be a mistake, but once I’ve vetted something, I should go for it. And don’t take 50 years to vet something.
I have even written a blog before on my fascination with the
number one. My advice to my younger self
would be to amass a tsunami of friends.
Don’t guard myself too much. It’s
ok to have a large circle of influence but a smaller group of trusted
advisors. Gather friends like a bucket
of blackberries. Each one a different
flavor, intensity, ripeness. But putting
them all together makes a great cobbler and a great life.
Don’t limit relationships (by Nadine Bruner).
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