Losing Leadership

One of my biggest worries about moving from residence life/housing has been that I’ll “forget” how to lead.  I know it sounds silly but I was worried that I would forget how to have that “edge” or what it is like to think about leading over 100 people.

                Four years into my exile I realized something.  Maybe the whole point is that I forget.  Maybe I am supposed to forget and start anew.

                Could it be?  I mean I spent so much time watching my former boss (at Baylor) change the culture of a department, speak into people’s lives, and receive every benefit one could think of in the organization.  I considered that my role model.  I learned a great deal.

                So could it be that I was supposed to move away from that?  After I’d worked so hard at emulation!  So it was with a big sigh (was that relief?) that I decided to stop worrying about forgetting.  I decided that it was just fine to forget.  As a matter of fact I should forget!

                And start anew!  A different paradigm.  I admit that a lot has changed for me in the last four years.  I have spent three years now in a new church with a new pastor shaping my spirituality and values.  I have spent the last four years serving under four leaders who represent a vast spectrum of leadership abilities and styles.  And, I have spent a great deal of time learning about myself.

                I thought I knew myself well, but I had no idea!  So how will I be different in the future?  I am not sure.  I know that many years ago, I said that I wanted to serve as a Vice President so I could “help shape the plans and strategies for a division of student life.”

                I no longer desire to be a Vice President.  Too political.  However, in my new role back in the Division of Student Life, guess what I’m doing?  I am eagerly spending my time helping shape the plans and strategies of the departments within student life.  I am loving what I’m doing right now.  I am having fun and getting to live my values.

               

And it is good.  Was I a leader back then?  I suppose I was, but I do not think I was the best leader I could be.  Am I a leader now? I suppose I am, in a different way.  Fewer people, but more influence.

                I’m reading a book right now entitled, Essentialism, The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown.  The mantra for the book just happens to be “less, but better.”  Seems pretty timely to me!

                I am thankful for the last four years of “hard labor” because a new leadership within me has been formed.  I am enjoying myself each day and liking me is a major accomplishment.  For that, I am so thankful.  For what my former Baylor leader taught me, I am thankful and for what I am teaching myself I know, it will be priceless.  I will use this giftedness to its highest and best use!