Let the Blogging Begin

In 2006 I began blogging about my daily experiences as I transitioned into a new environment. The choices I made to use humor costs me a great deal. I discussed and laughed at things that I found intriguing, perplexing, and used humor to navigate my new environment. Unfortunately the way I worked through the unfamiliar, the uneasiness, the feeling of powelessness served to intensify and perpetuate those exact things.

I received a call from a stranger explaining that another stranger had found my blogging ruminations then circulated my thoughts to hundreds of others.  I was humiliated, misunderstood, and alone.  Every minute was difficult to face. Every time I went to a meeting I arrived to whispers, snickering, and outright snubs. It was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. But I kept showing up. I don't know why I didn't run away but I didn't.

I stayed. I kept showing up. I sought God's input. I knew God had brought me to this environment for a reason so I set about trying to determine WHY. I learned a great deal about humility. I allowed myself to be ripped open and accepted it as a lesson. I paid a price for sure. I paid a high price-but I believe I am better now for it. I learned a great deal about myself, my humor, and the "why" I do what I do, and about relying on Jesus minute to minute.  

About the same time as I was experiencing the difficulty of "opening my big mouth" a musical group, The Dixie Chicks, made a comment while touring in Europe. The comment was considered a negative slight toward President George W. Bush. Because of the comment, The Dixie Chicks experienced a tsunami of anger, backlash, and humiliation. Fans stopped buying their records, radio stations stopped playing their music, and peers distanced themselves from the group. I know the feelings.

During the period between the comment and the release of their next album, the group wrote the lyrics to a song I have loved from the first moment I heard it. I believe the lyrics of the song "The Long Way" are exactly the description of my own life-  

It's been two long years now

Since the top of the world came crashing down

And I'm getting it back on the road now

But I'm taking the long way-Taking the long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself

I opened my mouth and I heard myself

It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself

Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow

No, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else

Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down

If you ever want to find me I can still be found 

Taking the long way-Taking the long way around