Trust Yourself

I wonder at what point we learn to doubt ourselves?  I surely think we are born with a leaning toward confidence—we don’t stop, as an infant, to ponder whether we know how to do something, but rather we storm forward. 

But somewhere along the way we have doubt introduced or a question gets turned into fear and before we even know it, we suddenly have a lack of self-confidence.

Personally I don’t remember a time in my life which wasn’t blanketed in doubt or fear but I know confidence was there at one time because it will bubble through at points.  It seems the older I get though, the more I am returning to that confidence and leaving the fears behind. 

In short, I’m returning to a trust in myself.

Trusting myself is certainly a journey I’ve been on for a long time.  It seems that during my formative years in my career, I had the least confidence but now that I have been around a bit longer, either I care less about what others think or I have more confidence.  Or maybe a little of both.

In trusting myself, I have learned that there are three pieces of advice I try to keep in mind so I do not get bogged down in fear or self-doubt.

First—trust your gut.  It may take a while to learn (or relearn) to get in touch with your gut but it is worth it.  So often, in our busy lives, we have buried our intuition under layer upon layer of insulation.  We miss our intuition because we keep ourselves so busy we miss out on feeling anything.  Or we’ve padded ourselves from potential risk or pain so thoroughly an authentic feeling has trouble getting through. 

A solution to regain our intuition, that may help is to either meditate or do yoga.  I sometimes struggle with just meditation but if I start with yoga, I tend to then be able to move into some meditation more easily.

Second, limit your feedback receptivity to only your most trusted advisors who have your absolute best interest.  Do not take feedback from individuals who have no earned the right to speak into your life.  Take only those who offer the truth in love.

Finally, when you receive that truth in love and it hurt, check your heart, learn from your new knowledge then move on.  Do not dwell in the “what could have been” moments or get stalled in a pity party.  Spending too much time doubting yourself can become a lifestyle and I do not believe you were created for such a life.

It has taken me a long time to return to self-trust.  Sometimes it is a daily struggle.  But the clarity is worth it.

I Cannot Write

I’ve struggled to write lately.  In all aspects of my writing (journaling, blogging, aspiring book) I’ve simply felt dry—nothing to give.  Over most of January and until today I’ve felt dried up.  I read one writer describe herself as dry toast, no butter, no jelly/jam, nothing, just dry.  This spoke to me.

I have wondered what was wrong with me.  Why did I have nothing to write about?  Why were the thoughts, which normally come to me as quickly as I can write, suddenly gone?  What was going on with my mind?  I began to worry.

Then I realized the issue:  I have been reading the same book, a dense business book, for a month.  I thoroughly have enjoyed this book but it was almost a textbook as it required deep concentration.  Less prominent were my normal popcorn thoughts and more linear were my leadership and organizational thoughts.  Not to mention the need for retention.

Normally I read two to three books per month which provides a steady stream of new ideas, challenges, and topics.  In short, I tend not to get too tale with that volume of intake.  However, when my input ground to a slower pace, so did my output.

I’m realizing that my mind needs frequent new information in order for me to be my best self.  So today, I begin a new reading!  I’ll be posting about this new book, The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson, soon.